3-24-2020: Birthday Wishes

I turned 35 today and I find myself in a spirit of reflection. These are unprecedented, challenging times, but nevertheless I am wishing many things – as one does on their birthday. I wish you a revolutionary, buoyant joy that protests the gravity of this moment and lifts you higher. I wish you peace that commands storms to stillness.  I wish you the kind of love for self that envelops you so much that others know love by knowing you. I wish you healing that creates new life from scar tissue until every memory bleeds truth. I wish you vision to see that the big picture depends on the lens you look through. I wish you the time to dance with stolen seconds. I wish you silence that soothes and speaks your soul’s language. I wish you courage to starve that which drains you and nurture what feeds you daily. I wish you perspective to feel the rocks under your feet are worn smoother from the soles of others who sojourned before you. I wish you empathy to cry rivers flooded from the tears of those other than yourself. I wish you strength to hold each other as you manage the things you carry together. I wish you gratitude in knowing that for some reason, you’re still here. And sometimes that’s enough. 

Thanks for the birthday love. STAY HOME (unless you actually can’t) and be well! 

-EL

30.

I’m 30. As in, my twenties are officially over. What just happened? As I enter a new decade in my life, I find myself stopping to reflect on the previous ten years and how ephemeral it all seems now. At age 20, I was just a skinny, shy kid young man with braids and a pleasant voice, still trying to find his voice and purpose in life. Ten years later I’ve grown exponentially in every area of my life but I’m still that person in many ways, without the cornrows of course.

My twenties were such a blur though….sometimes I wonder whether I stopped to savor them enough. Then I realize that I’ve done ok in the last 10 years. I’ve found the love of my life and been happily married since the age of 23. We’re starting a family(What? BRUH…….). I’ve gotten two degrees and started on my PhD. I’ve found a viable career path that I’m passionate about. I’ve had dreams. I’ve abandoned those dreams for new ones. I’ve made mistakes and learned from them. Most importantly, I’ve evolved.

In many ways, I’m ahead of where I thought I’d be, but in others I can’t shake the feeling of having plenty of catching up to do. I suppose that’s normal and shows that I haven’t allowed myself to get complacent. Cee-Lo Green told me that “Sometimes hunger is the best food” and I’m still starving. The day I become completely satisfied with where I am in life is the day I stop growing. That means I stop living. And that’s unacceptable.

As I enter my thirties, I’m going to make sure that I continue to grow daily. I have new challenges ahead and I will meet each of them with equal vigor. I will reach my goals. I will prosper. I will walk through open doors and bust through closed ones if they stand between me and my destination. I will fly.

And hey….if the next decade is as eventful as the last, then I’d say my thirties went pretty well. Here’s to 30 and beyond.

-EL